One-shot, Sherlock
by Sherlockiannightmare
Summary: One shot's for Sherlock. Crazy little one shots that happen to the boys (And basicaly everyone.)
1. Sicklock

'_I wonder if I'll wake him… Oh well, I don't really care.' _Sherlock thought to himself as he walked into John's bedroom. Sherlock just finished a case yesterday, and now has a terrible cold.

"Sherlock?" John said turning on his bedside lamp "Love, what are you doing?" watching as his boyfriend flopped onto the bed ungraciously

"Coming to see you."  
"Why? It's…" John said looking at his clock "two thirty-five in the morning. Why are you really in here?" he asked sitting up

"I was bored. And don't" Sherlock started but was cut off by a sneeze, which turned into a coughing fit.

"Are you alright? What happened?" John asked trying to calm Sherlock, which resulted in the younger man moving so his head rested in John's lap.

'_Why does he do this to me…' _John thought as Sherlock pushed the back of his head into John's groin.

"I don't feel well. My body seems to be betraying me." Sherlock said sniffling

"Well, that's what happens when you jump into a lake, run in the rain, and don't sleep or eat for a week straight." John said pushing curls out of Sherlock's face.

"I know. Take care of me." Sherlock said looking up pleadingly at his flat mate.

"I would but… Hold on" John said reaching for his mobile. "Hey Greg, What's up? – Please don't tell me there's a case – Sherlock's sick. –What do you mean – Mycroft. Right. – Sure, sure. – See you then. – Bye." John said hitting the end button and dropping his mobile on the nightstand.

"Lestrade and my brother are stopping by I take it?" Sherlock asked flipping over so his face was on John's crotch.

"Y-yes, they are. Would you please stop that?"

"No. I don't want my brother here."  
"Well he's coming so get off of me so I can go find trousers." John said trying to shift Sherlock off of him.

"You're not wearing trousers?" Sherlock asked with a raised brow.

"No, I'm not wearing trousers. Please love, get off me. Just for a minute." John replied lifting Sherlock up, and placing him on the other side of the bed.

"Alright…" Sherlock said laying spread eagle as soon as John got off the bed. "Question." Sherlock said looking at John

"Yes?"

"Must I wear trousers and pants if my brother is here?" Sherlock said moving the sheet lower on his body.  
"Yes. You have to. And no back talk!" John said pointing a finger at Sherlock to silence him before he started complaining.

"Oh, the Captain Watson tone." Sherlock said rolling his eyes "Doesn't scare me."

"It should dear brother." Mycroft said from the door frame. "He only uses it when he means business."

* * *

"Ya know, if I could get him to stay healthy I wouldn't care. Does Mycroft ever do this?" John asked Lestrade.

"No, he doesn't, thankfully. He's usually attending to me getting sick. But we both have good health so it's not often." Lestrade said with a smile.

"You think they're fighting?" John whispered as he poured a cup of tea for each of them.

"Most definitely they are. Come on, best get back to our respective boys before they go insane…" Lestrade said grabbing the biscuits

"Too late." John said with a laugh as they walked into the sitting room where the Holmes boys were making faces.

"Knock it off!" Lestrade said walking up to Mycroft and kissing his temple.

"Why?" Mycroft asked staring at Lestrade

"Because." John said setting the tea down "We said so." He finished with a smirk

"Oh, whatever." Sherlock said with an eye roll.

"And... That's just our boys…" Lestrade said to John with a light chuckle.

"Hey!" they heard from Sherlock and Mycroft.

"Oh well…" John said with a smile. "Come on, drink your tea."

"Yes Captain Watson" Sherlock said smirking.

'_oy….' _John thought with an eye roll _'This ought to be a fun morning.'_


	2. A Drug Bust at 221B

**Hello! Here's another one-shot. I think all of them are going to involve some ship... Oh well! Mentions of some Johnlock smutty things. If you don't like it, you don't have to read. I won't force you!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did, but sadly no.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"JOHN!" Sherlock yelled from the door way of their flat

"What is it, love?" John asked coming up behind Sherlock and then _seeing _what caused his distress

"Hi John, Hi Sherlock" Greg Lestrade said from John's arm chair

"What's going on? Why are you in my flat?" Sherlock asked stepping in and taking off his coat.

"Routine drug check. Your brother was worried, as was I."

"Anderson is here too!? Oh God, is Donovan here?" Sherlock said making a face at Anderson

"Yeah I am, Freak, hi John." Sally Donovan said walking passed them to go grab a black light.

"Anderson can you give me a hand in black-lighting? Time to check the Freak's bedroom." She said walking down the hall to Sherlock's room.

Now, this of course caused a look of fear to appear in John's eyes, and a look of glee in Sherlock's.

You see, no one really knows about John and Sherlock's relationship. Only Mycroft, Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson and Molly know. And well… Sherlock and John had quite the rowdy night last night so if they black light his room, they'll find traces of it.

"WHAT THE HELL?! FREAK WHAT DID YOU DO IN HERE LAST NIGHT?" Anderson yelled as he walked back to the living room

"I… I shouldn't have bothered going in there." Sally said following Anderson and then stopping by Lestrade.

"I was doing an experiment with something." Sherlock said plopping down into his chair

"You're bed is… Inspector, don't go in there." Sally said as Greg walked into Sherlock's room, and right back out.

"I see you too had a nice night last night?" Lestrade whispered in John's ear which caused a smile and a slight nod from John

"Alright." He said to everyone in the room. "Let's go. Nothing left to do here. Anderson, Donovan, quit snickering you're pissing me off!" He said as he walked out. "Have a nice night boys!" He called over his shoulder as Anderson and Donovan walked out looking at Sherlock strangely.

"Well…" John said plopping into his chair after they left "That was awkward."

"Not really" Sherlock said taking his seat opposite of John.

"_'Not really'_? Sherlock you do remember what we did in that bedroom last night _right?_ Or did you _delete it?_" John said leaning forward in his seat toward Sherlock

"Oh," Sherlock said leaning forward as well "I would _never _delete last night. It was too much fun." He said leaning back again with a grin plastered on his face.

"Fine… So…" John said leaning back again and tilting his head to look at his boyfriend and flat mate

"You want to have sex don't you?" Sherlock said quirking an eyebrow

"Wh-what? No…" John said putting his face in his hands

"Oh. Well I don't care. Let's go." Sherlock said grabbing John's hand and pulling him to the room.

"Sherlock, most people ask."

"I" Sherlock said slowly down slightly "Dear John, am not most people!" and with that, he pulled John off to do some unmentionable things.


	3. Staring Contest

**Hello! Today is ****_SailOnSilverGirl_****'s birthday! Happy Birthday Silver, I hope you like my little present.**

* * *

"Sherlock." John said not looking away from his laptop

"Yes?"

"Why are you staring at me?" John said shutting his laptop

"I'm trying to see how long it takes for a person to become involved in a staring contest. I figured I'd try it on you,"

"Well" John said locking eyes with Sherlock "You got what you want"

"Great!" He said with a grin

_'Oh boy… what have I just gotten myself in to…?' _John thought

After about two minutes Sherlock started wiggling his eyebrows in an attempt to get John to lose by laughter

"Why are you trying to get me to lose?"

"Because!" Sherlock practically yelled leaning forward from his seat wiggling his eyebrows

"Well..." John said with a slight chuckle and a smile "You aren't going to make me!" he said clapping in front of Sherlock's face and making him lose

"No fair! You cheated!" Sherlock exclaimed jumping from his seat

"You were trying to make me lose so it's only fair" John said shrugging and getting out of his seat, only to be tackled by Sherlock.

* * *

"Boys what are you doing!?" Mrs. Hudson yelled when she saw them wrestling on the ground and yelling. She had come up to check that everything was ok but it seems everything is _not _ok.

"Nothing really, John cheated at a staring contest so I'm getting back at him." Sherlock said hitting John in the arm and getting off of him

"It was only fair of me to do that! You were trying to make me laugh." John said hitting him back

"Well I don't care. Knock it off! Acting like children, you're grown men." She said and headed back down stairs "honestly, you'd expect better from a genius and a doctor…" She said as she closed the door to their flat.

"Wow…" John said sitting back down in his seat "She seemed angry"

"Yes she did…" Sherlock said sitting in his seat. "Rematch?"

"You bet"


	4. The Chocolate Croissants

**I own nothing. It's more like Moffat, Gatiss and BBC own me.**

* * *

_'How hard is it to make chocolate croissants? Shouldn't be difficult' _Sherlock thought to himself while in his thinking position on the couch.

John had left this morning in a bad mood because Sherlock made Molly angry yesterday and John heard about it and in turn, John got pissed at Sherlock. So, Sherlock decided to apologize in his own way by making croissants.

"Alright… The dough is done," Sherlock said aloud as he stood back covered in flour.

"Now… For the chocolate!" Sherlock exclaimed and ran over to where the chocolate was.

_'oh no… What did I do now… John's going to be so pissed.' _Sherlock thought when he looked at the chocolate.

The picture online looked so nice and melted, and Sherlock's was burnt and was still semi-solid. And the only person Sherlock knew could fix this was Mrs. Hudson, so he went to get her

"I take it you and John had a row last night?" Mrs. Hudson asked as she climbed the stairs to the boys flat.

"Yes we did. Because _apparently, _it was insensitive of me to call Molly's boyfriend gay." Sherlock replied rolling his eyes

"Sherlock you can't do that it's not polite!" Mrs. Hudson said as they entered the door and then continued to lecture him about how impolite it is to call someone gay.

"Alright dear, chocolate's all melted. Do you need any help finishing them?" Mrs. Hudson asked wiping her hands and _finally _finishing her lecture.

"I don't believe so no." Sherlock said and looked at the clock "Well, John should be home in about an hour so I should let you continue what you were doing while I finish these." He continued and bit his lip looking at her

"Right. You're welcome Sherlock" Mrs. Hudson said walking up to Sherlock and hugging him then heading for the stairs to go back to her own flat.

"Thank you" Sherlock said barely loud enough for her to hear as she walked out the door, she did hear it though (The woman has amazing hearing.) and it caused a smile to spread across her face as she headed down the stairs.

* * *

"Sherlock I'm home. Not like you care, but I a-" John said and stopped mid-sentence because of the mess in the kitchen

"Welcome home John. I attempted backing but, as you can see," Sherlock said throwing the pan with croissants on it on the table "It didn't work." He finished with a huff.

They weren't perfect, by _ANY _means. But they still looked edible. There was chocolate all of the pan _and_ Sherlock along with the flour he was still covered in from making the dough.

_'Well this is a surprise. I can't believe he even tried…' _John thought with a smile "Thank you Sherlock. They're fine. They don't look perfect but they're fine." He said walking up to his flat-mate and brushing some of the flour out of his hair.

"Really?" Sherlock asked pulling back and looking at John

"Yes really. Come on, let's take them off the pan and put them on a plate so we can have some."

"Alright." Sherlock said with a smile as John grabbed a plate from the cabinet

"And then," John added "We can take some to Molly so you can apologize"

"Fine." Sherlock said

_'Ok…' _He thought _'Maybe they didn't turn out too terrible'_


	5. The Toddler

**I own nothing, I own nothing, I own nothing... The mantra of everyone on here, I swear.**

**I technically own Emily in this. But... *shrugs* That dosen't count.**

* * *

"Hi John. Thanks for coming to see me." Molly said with a smile

"Of course Molly. Look, I'm still sorry Sherlock called your boyfriend gay a few weeks ago." John said giving her a weak smile

"Fiancé, actually. He proposed last week!" Molly said holding out her left hand.

"Congratulations Molly! Wow, that's a beautiful ring!" John said as he looked at the ring, it was a platinum band with a large diamond in the middle and hand tiny turquoise gemstones around the diamond

"Thank you. Now um… Do you remember when Sherlock called him gay?"

"Yes I remember something about adoption right?" John asked quirking an eyebrow inquisitively

"Well, we got approved for adoption and we have a little girl named Emily with us right now and I'm going to finish the papers tomorrow morning, and I was wondering if you and Sherlock would watch her for me?" Molly asked biting her lip and looking at John pleadingly.

"Well, I would be happy to; you know how Sherlock is with children though."

"I know. I think he'll be fine. She's quite smart for being three." Molly said already having a mother's pride.

"Alright, drop her off tomorrow morning."

"How about, 6? My meeting for it is at 7 but I need to get completely ready for it and I don't think I can if she's sitting there." Molly said as she and John started to walk to the door

"Alright. See you then" John opening the door.

_'Not telling Sherlock. Not going to do it.' _John thought as he walked out the door.

* * *

"Hey Molly. I take it this is Emily?" John said as he opened the door the next morning and saw Molly holding the hand of a little blonde toddler who was rubbing her eyes

"Yes this is." Molly said smiling down at her "Emily say hi to John"

"Hi John." Emily said with a weak smile and bleary eyes

"Hi Emily, you can call me Uncle John if your Mum dosen't mind. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"I don't mind at all." Molly said with a smile

"Ok. Yes I would, Uncle John" Emily said bobbing her head from side to side in a sleepy manner

"Alright. Well then let's go. Any idea when you'll be back, Molly?" John said taking Emily's hand

"About noon I think. Emily I'm going to be leaving you here for the morning alright? Behave and do what your Uncle John says." Molly said kissing Emily's head "Love you."

"Alright. Love you too Mum" Emily said smiling and waving at Molly as she walked to the door.

"Alright Emily. Follow me and then you can go back to sleep." John said with a smile as he closed the door and turned to Emily.

"yessir Uncle John" Emily said saluting him with her free hand

"Alright let's go!" He said saluting her back making her giggle as he walked with her towards Sherlock's room.

"We have to be quiet now. Your Uncle Sherlock's still sleeping." John whispered as they opened the door and walked in

"Ok" Emily whispered back and looked at Sherlock who was asleep on the bed

"Come on" John said holding out his arms for Emily

After she walked over to him he picked her up and brought her to the other side of the bed he had previously been laying on until he looked at the clock. And laid her down next to Sherlock.

"You nap too?" Emily whispered and looked at John

John sighed "Sure." He picked her up again and shifted her closer to Sherlock so she was in the middle of the bed and laid down.

* * *

"John." Sherlock whispered at about ten when he finally woke up and the first thing he saw was the light blonde hair of Emily, then saw John watching him

"Yes?" John whispered back

"Who. Does. This. Belong. To."

"Molly and her fiancé."

"Good morning!" Emily yelled and sat up quickly "I'm Emily" She said smiling at Sherlock

"Hello Emily I'm –"

"You're Uncle Sherlock." Emily said cutting Sherlock off mid-sentence

Sherlock glared at John at the word _'Uncle'_

"I'm hungry. Can I have something to eat Uncle John?" Emily asked

"Of course. Come on let's go." John said getting up and walking to the door

"I'm getting you food too Sherlock." John said as he walked out the door "Besides," He said leaning back in as Emily walked out to the kitchen. "You had a _looong _night last night." John said with a smile

"Shut up!" Sherlock said chuckling and throwing a pillow at John as John darted from the room and Sherlock started to chase him to the kitchen

"Do you have eggs?" Emily said tilting her head.

"Yeah we do." John said nodding his head and chuckling when Sherlock walked up behind him and pushed him with his chest

"Yes?" John said spinning around so they were facing. They were so close their noses almost touched.

"Go fix her breakfast. I'm going to shower." Sherlock said walking away.

"Well," John said "Let's get started"

* * *

"John! Sherlock! Molly's here to pick up her little one!" Mrs. Hudson called up the stairs about noon.

"No! I don't wanna leave!" Emily said and hid between Sherlock, who was playing violin – and the window.

"You don't want to come home with me?" Molly said walking into the flat

"No!" Emily said burying her face into Sherlock's thigh.

"Alright, well then I'll just go home and eat all the ice cream by myself" Molly said faking being sad and sighed

"Ice cream?" Emily said tilting her head so she could be seen from her hiding spot

"Yes ice cream."

"Ok… I'll go with you" Emily said moving from her post in front of Sherlock.

"Bye Emily" John said and she ran up and hugged him

"Bye Uncle John! Bye Uncle Sherlock!" She said as she ran back to Sherlock for a hug.

"Good bye Emily" He said moving so he could hug her back "See you tomorrow Molly?" Sherlock asked

"Yep. Thanks for watching her." Molly said with a nod and walked out the door holding Emily's hand.

"So… You enjoy the two hours we spent with Emily?" John asked

"Somewhat, she's a smart little one."

"Oh I know you liked it."

"Fine. I did. Why?"

"I was just wondering how you dealt with little ones, or if you'd you know," John said shrugging "want to have a little one around here."

"Oh… Well… It wouldn't be too terrible I suppose" Sherlock said sitting down in his chair and looking at John with a smirk. "Why are you pregnant?"

"What? Sherlock. You're an arse you know that right?"

"Yes. But according to you, and a few others, it's a cute arse"

"Shut up you genius." John said with a huff and walked out of the room. "I'm off to shower. See you when I get out."

"Alright" Sherlock replied

_'Why would John want to know if I enjoyed my time with Emily? Does he want to adopt?' _Sherlock thought and then made a face at just the _thought _of having a little monster running around the flat _'I guess it wouldn't be too terrible…' He thought with a smile 'I could use someone else to praise me, plus experiments would be easier if John wasn't willing. Yeah, adopting would be fun.' _Sherlock thought as he walked to the bathroom

"Oh Joooohn…" Sherlock said in that rich baritone that could get _anyone_ to do what he says "Mind if I join you? We need to talk about some things…"


	6. The Heat Wave

**I own nothing, I own nothing, I own nothing.**

* * *

"I just want to know why. Why would you shoot the A-C in the dead of summer!?" John yelled at his flat mate

Sherlock had shot the A-C yesterday night because he was bored. Well, today it's 26°C outside and John's about ready to kill him. Now granted, John served in Afghanistan so he's used to heat, but with Sherlock's whining he's getting pissed

"I was _BORED _John! I'm sorry you're pissed." Sherlock said walking up to John and kissing his temple

"Yeah well... Are you wearing pants?" John asked sitting back in his chair

"Nope. Just my sheet."

"Alright then."

"Well you're only wearing your pants, so why do I have to wear more clothing than you?" Sherlock asked sitting in his spot opposite of John

"You don't. I was just asking" John said leaning forward again and resting his elbows on his legs

"Oh." Sherlock said mimicking his moves

"Hm." John said giving Sherlock a quick peck on the lips

"Not fair." Sherlock said kissing him

Which of course, just lead to a _LOT _of kissing throughout the day.

* * *

"What are you two doing?!" Lestrade asked as he walked into the flat and saw a pair of red pants (John's), and then Sherlock and John laying on the couch covered by a sheet

"Just snuggling" John said tilting his head back so he could look at Greg, as well as get his face away from the mass of consulting detective that has his head resting on John's chest.

"Liar" Sherlock mumbled into his chest

"Well, I was going to say we need you for something but I guess it can wait. Have a nice rest of your day guys" Lestrade said walking back to the door

"Wait!" Sherlock said pulling up on his elbows above John

"Yes Sherlock?" Lestrade asked him

"What do you need us for?"

"A case of course. What else do we call you in for?"

And with that Sherlock darted from under the sheet and ran to his room "JOHN YOU NEED TO GET DRESSED NOW!"

"Did... Is he...?" Lestrade said pointing in the direction of Sherlock

"Yes he's naked." John said standing up and pulling the sheet tighter around himself "We'll be ready in a few minutes. Text Sherlock the directions to the scene and we'll meet you there."

"Got it. Bye" Greg said walking out but not before hearing "JOHN WHERE ARE MY PANTS? ARE THEY IN YOUR ROOM?" And smiled to himself because Sherlock didn't even bother to _THINK _if he was still in the flat.


End file.
